i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
