like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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