Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
