Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
