well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
love makes seman taste better
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
