and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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