Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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