you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
