you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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