Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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