So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
