Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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