My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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