i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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