Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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