dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
