i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think my vagina is haunted
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need moral support for this bender
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
