I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
