I wish I only lived at night.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
