Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
