remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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