Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
