Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am available for nakedness
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
