at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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