The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
