Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize