she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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