Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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(971): View more from Oregon

HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY

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(281): View more from Texas

Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.

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