I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.