If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
