When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.