And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
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I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.