Texts From Last Night

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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

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  (563): I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever. http://tfl.nu/ydd6
  Replies (20) Good night (1045) Bad night (4573)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao

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  (786): my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao http://tfl.nu/rabe
  Replies (38) Good night (1430) Bad night (7093)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..

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  (603): ...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night.. http://tfl.nu/6ino
  Replies (46) Good night (4616) Bad night (867)
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  (+77): View more from

  her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'

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  (+77): her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like' http://tfl.nu/jkuk
  Replies (22) Good night (6936) Bad night (1479)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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  (801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz
  Replies (31) Good night (10614) Bad night (1226)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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  (614): Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween. http://tfl.nu/cwdu
  Replies (14) Good night (933) Bad night (2695)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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  (774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3
  Replies (14) Good night (3436) Bad night (701)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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  (701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs
  Replies (7) Good night (2113) Bad night (926)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

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  (240): and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. http://tfl.nu/oorw
  Replies (3) Good night (4123) Bad night (725)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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  (706): On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related. http://tfl.nu/0zhl
  Replies (12) Good night (2534) Bad night (546)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (569)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...

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  (818): I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke... http://tfl.nu/h1hr
  Replies (3) Good night (2014) Bad night (830)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.

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  (434): You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown. http://tfl.nu/essa
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (896)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT

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  (503): THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT http://tfl.nu/3zvj
  Replies (13) Good night (578) Bad night (1575)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..

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  (785): Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom.. http://tfl.nu/34oi
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (367)

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