That's when you crack a 10am beer
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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