Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
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Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.