I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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