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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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• (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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• (530): View more from California

  Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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• (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+45): View more from Denmark

  You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry

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• (951): View more from California

  Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

  (1-951): View more from California

  Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The student becomes the teacher.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.

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