I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?