Texts From Last Night

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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  New experience?

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  (931): woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low? (615): New experience? http://tfl.nu/83n1
  Replies (9) Good night (2882) Bad night (677)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  True Life: I hate vaginal excretions

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  (952): True Life: I hate vaginal excretions http://tfl.nu/vhm9
  Replies (67) Good night (866) Bad night (7351)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place

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  (843): the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place http://tfl.nu/6i8c
  Replies (16) Good night (5913) Bad night (916)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.

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  (724): I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina. http://tfl.nu/8v08
  Replies (16) Good night (5541) Bad night (1605)
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  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

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  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
  Replies (18) Good night (5161) Bad night (1045)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1693) Bad night (3261)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.

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  (702): See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first. http://tfl.nu/1rv0
  Replies (9) Good night (1701) Bad night (731)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.

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  (954): threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/r0t4
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (488)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  If this party got busted it would be an improvement

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  (928): If this party got busted it would be an improvement http://tfl.nu/vaa5
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1524)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection

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  (248): You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection http://tfl.nu/50lp
  Replies (7) Good night (1401) Bad night (587)
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  (415): View more from California

  If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft

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  (415): If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft http://tfl.nu/qde3
  Replies (1) Good night (915) Bad night (584)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.

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  (847): My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital. http://tfl.nu/g98t
  Replies (3) Good night (1231) Bad night (402)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.

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  (801): If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment. http://tfl.nu/t8v8
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (352)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.

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  (713): Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar. http://tfl.nu/aeu2
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (356)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow

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  (404): So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow http://tfl.nu/zlpp
  Replies (2) Good night (691) Bad night (483)

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