I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
