i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.