Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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  (504): can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am... http://tfl.nu/u07k
  Replies (4) Good night (1742) Bad night (607)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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  (647): fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack http://tfl.nu/ix39
  Replies (21) Good night (1149) Bad night (662)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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  (210): Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two. http://tfl.nu/86sn
  Replies (21) Good night (5009) Bad night (816)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

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  (404): I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/ok17
  Replies (23) Good night (5057) Bad night (584)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number

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  (248): Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number http://tfl.nu/nl2y
  Replies (20) Good night (6661) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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  (608): Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again. http://tfl.nu/9jrz
  Replies (18) Good night (7452) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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  (518): I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved. http://tfl.nu/p0e0
  Replies (11) Good night (2267) Bad night (1101)
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  (805): View more from California

  I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.

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  (805): I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly. http://tfl.nu/8ih5
  Replies (45) Good night (10102) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.

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  (402): Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week. http://tfl.nu/y6xg
  Replies (16) Good night (3913) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween

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  (403): I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween http://tfl.nu/vo8h
  Replies (4) Good night (2162) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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  (702): Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent. http://tfl.nu/joa6
  Replies (7) Good night (1286) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay

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  (519): Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay http://tfl.nu/j10h
  Replies (4) Good night (2476) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life

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  (+64): the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life http://tfl.nu/95hw
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?

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  (620): I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough? http://tfl.nu/xi1b
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.

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  (307): I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary. http://tfl.nu/dsd0
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (358)

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