guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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