32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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