I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
