You made me cry and you don't even care
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
