Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm bleeding and have questions
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
