And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
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Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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