the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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