you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
