And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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