it hurts more in the daytime
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
