It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
