and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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