When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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