i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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