Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
