you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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