Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
