I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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