thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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