Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You took a bar mat shot.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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