No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
