Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
3pm strippers are depressing
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
