i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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