Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
