yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You need Xanax blowdarts
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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