What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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