All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
