would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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